After the Eleventh
My life following the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center
Journal
Initial e-mail: Wednesday, Wed, 12 Sep 2001 15:35:27
Hi all, (please forward to anyone you think may want to see this that I didn't include)
I just wanted to let you know I am safe and sound. Everyone I knew and was concerned about has been accounted for, but I still fear that there will be someone I know, especially considering how may people went into banking and may have worked at the WTC, who has perished in the attack. It is unlikely that any of us will be unaffected, even if not an immediate acquaintance, certainly a friend-of-a-friend.
I want to thank all of you who contacted me in the past 24 hours. It is so nice to know that there are so many people out there concerned about me. It is so hard to cope when phone lines are down.
Basically, my experience was that I walked to work and saw smoke coming
from a building. Being new to the city, I did not know it was the world
trade center. Upon arriving to work, the story began to unfold. We all watched
in disbelief from a window at work (we had a clear view of the towers).
Just as someone said 'it looks like they will survive' I turned to look
and the first tower crumbled. It looked like a banana peeling. Shortly after
that the second one fell, and the debris and smoke looked like a firework.
I stayed at work for a while, fearing more attacks, and talking with people
on the Internet and using the landline there. I then came home, but my roommates
had gone out, and I felt so helpless, so I went to donate blood. The closest
hospital to me is the main one where victims were brought, so it was crazy
outside. So many people had shown up to donate that they told me to go home,
even though I have the universal blood type. I will go back another day,
because they will still need blood for some time to come.
At night, we all stayed together, watching the news, talking about the effects
of the attack, and trying to celebrate the fact that we were alive and that
the us would stand up to the attacks. It was amazing: during the day the
streets were filled with people walking north, away from the scene. At night,
no one was out at all. It was eerie. Then around midnight, we watched from
the balcony as National Guard trucks and city buses brought troops down
Lexington Ave. (our cross street). We cheered as they passed.
Today the winds shifted from eastward to northward, and we can now smell
the smoke at my home, like that of fireworks. We still hear sirens every
few minutes. Yet there is no violence here. People are calm (or maybe shocked).
After it happened there were definitely some reactions. I guess the unions
let off their workers, because I saw some construction workers walking down
the street drinking beer and celebrating the union. I also saw an older
nervous business with a briefcase in one hand and a joint in the other scurrying
down the street.
Everyone has a story about their experience: 'I was down the block' 'I was
in a building across the street' 'I was supposed to be on that flight' 'I
took the day off of work' etc. unfortunately not all stories will be happy
ones, and I just hope that those who have not heard from their family or
friends can at least know what happened to those people.
I am going to go out now and walk around. It is impossible to sit at home
watching the same scenes over and over on the news.
I wish you all safety and strength,
Katie
First Update: Thu 13 Sept 2001 11:39
After I wrote that letter, I went out with my roommate Jody, his two uncles who had come up from Delaware to see if they could help, and another friend visiting from Florida who had stayed with us the previous night. We walked downtown, fifty blocks from our house to close to the scene. There were checkpoints along the way where only residents could pass. Jody was able to convince the guards that he had just moved to the neighborhood and therefore didn't have ID. It was scary in fact how easy it was, because anybody could have done it· how were they to know that our camera equipment wasn't a bomb?
After several checkpoints we reached the media vans . We stayed there, because it was presumably safe, we looked like we belonged, and most importantly we had a view of a building (the Millennium Hotel) they feared was about to collapse. At this point we were about two blocks from the 1 Liberty Plaza building that had just collapsed.
The scene there was amazing. Aside from the television trucks, there were firemen, police officers, military police, onlookers like us, cleanup crews, construction companies, and volunteers. Local restaurants dropped off plates of food , bag lunches and trays of baked goods for the volunteers and workers. The Red Cross drove around delivering hot meals, water, etc. Everywhere we went policemen told stories of rescue efforts, either their own or those of their colleagues. One policeman apparently rode the building down as it collapsed, and survived, despite having been trapped on the 82nd floor.
In addition to the people walking around, there were so many vehicles leaving
the area. Perhaps most frightening were the dump trucks full of debris,
including steel I-beams twisted and crushed like an aluminum pop can. In
addition, emergency vehicles, construction vehicles, sanitation trucks,
and military vehicles streamed by, most going north away from the scene
(likely due to the feared building collapse).
Also in the area were many of the
destroyed cars
. They were gray with ash, many missing windows, tires, and any identification
of the color, make, owner, etc. The cars were filled with so many papers
and piles of ash. We saw things like the cover page to the
Salomon Smith Barney employee handbook
. This really struck home because I know that I know someone from school
who probably just received that handbook in the past few months when they
began working for the company. I just can't remember which of my friends
decided to work for SSB over another firm. So now I must wait for the news
to come in that "Joe, you know from chemistry class, who lived in Baker?"
was one of the people lost in the disaster.
While down at the scene, I shot an entire 36-exposure roll of film. I talked
to many people and overheard so many conversations. There were two police
officers who were brought in from Boston, and didn't really seem like they
knew what they were supposed to be doing. Another set of officers were as
in awe of the scene as we were, and were debating whether they should go
closer to the wreckage than the 2 block radius most people were at. One
of those officers asked me if I had any more paper masks (Jody's uncle had
brought some from his work). I didn’t, and offered him mine as we were on
our way home. He declined, saying I’d need it more than him.
The subways were still closed, but we managed to get a cab to take us home.
We were exhausted from walking and standing all day, and could only imagine
how the workers (as well as the families of victims and survivors or the
blast) must be feeling.
After this whole tragedy, the feelings I am left with are these:
· Relief that I am alive, and that so far so are all my friends and loved ones
· Thanks for all my friends and family who contacted me over the past days (from just minutes after the blasts up through last night) to make sure I am okay.
· Fear that we will go to war and that my brother, who was planning to enlist this winter will be taken away to a war zone and killed. I DO NOT fear flying or that there will be more attacks. That is not the way to live, for it will restrict my day-to-day life and I can’t let that happen. Nor should anyone else.
· Anger that the Taliban, if that is who is responsible, was left to complete these acts despite the fact that we have heard so many stories recently of their CRAZY policies
· Joy that in NYC, which is supposed to be the meanest city in the country, citizens have poured out into the streets to help each other to such an extent that people are being turned away and that there are no reactions like the L.A. riots - everyone is calmly coping
· Hope that someday
people will no longer stop and stare at the sky in fear every time they hear
a plane overhead, and that those who have missing family and friends will
be able to find closure and start the mourning process rather than harboring
false hopes.
Second update: Fri 14 Sept 2001 9:32 a.m.
I left work early yesterday because there were only a few people there. Most of the management was not there, although several younger people were in. I went to the post office to buy stamps. They wouldn't let a man send a package because he did not have ID. I don't know what good ID will do if the package is indeed a bomb. Perhaps they can chase down the bomber after it goes off if they've recorded his address?
I then went to pick up my pictures from the day before. Unfortunately many of them do not capture the true experience, the sounds, smell and commotion of the scene. I will post them soon, I hope.
I went home, and one of the people who lived in my apartment before (and still technically does for a few more days although she doesn't stay here) started yelling at me to clean up my boxes and stuff. I didn't respond, knowing that she was under a lot of stress because she had lost several friends. Later, she apologized. Her fit was impetus however for me to pick up my unpacking where I had left off.
I was interrupted shortly into the process by screams coming from downstairs. My first thought was "Oh no, what's happened now?" But then the words came through... "Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton!" Apparently he had chosen our street corner, 28th street and Lexington Avenue to make his speech from. We are near the armory, where all the bodies are being brought, so he was likely on his way there. Chelsea was also there, with friends, Starbucks coffee in hand. We couldn't hear what he said, or hardly even see his face, but the crowd supported him wholly. Maybe you saw my face on the news. Seeing Bill Clinton was a real morale boost for everyone around. It struck me that 48 hours after we'd seen military vehicles rolling down Lexington, we were now seeing the ex-president.
Today it is raining. When I heard the noise this morning, I knew there was little hope left. I checked my work email to see what time a meeting was scheduled for, and found out that the office is closed today, due to air quality and other issues. It is a relief in a way to not feel pressured to go into the office where I watched the events unfold (and look out the window with its altered view). However I want to be able to resume life as normal as much as possible. I guess I will just spend the day unpacking.
Third Update: Sunday, September 16, 2001 1:54:42 PM
It's been almost a week since this all began. I am sitting in TGIFridays at the Newark Airport, waiting for my flight to board. I left Manhattan at noon because I was told I would need two hours to check in. A half an hour after I arrived, even though I was dropped off at the wrong terminal by mistake, I am ready to board. Maybe if the flights were full there would be more concern, but I think that the flights are being cancelled because there aren’t many people flying. I'm not particularly nervous however. I think, as people are saying, it is probably safer to fly now than at any time in history. If terrorists are going to get us again, it will be in some other way we are vulnerable or unsuspecting: on their own soil or that of our allies, using children or biological warfare, etc.
I am on my way to Houston for work. When I got the call from my manager on Friday, and he mentioned this project, I assumed it would commence the next week. But I guess down in Houston, and most of the world, it is business-as-usual. Better for the economy and morale of the country I suppose. The terrorists probably wanted to immobilize the country as much as possible, and I’m gad to see they haven’t had much effect outside of lower Manhattan.
This morning before I left home one of my roommates lost his temper and
started screaming at us about how awful the Arabs were. I tried to tell
him that not all Arabs were terrorists and not all Arabs believed in the
same extreme views as the Taliban or religious zealots, especially those
Arabs born and raised in America (read: my friends). He argued that America
should not educate Arabs, that they were using our resources against us.
I say, better to educate them in an attempt to eliminate the inhumanity
and inequality they may believe in. I can certainly point out friends of
mine that in their experience away from home in college opened their minds
considerably from how their parents raised them. I don’t want the entire
world to become McDonald’s-Coca-Cola-U!S!A!, but I do believe in human rights.
After hearing my roommate's tirade, for the first time since it all began, I was on the verge of tears. I think that the whole thing is still so unreal to me, and as I have yet to see the real effects or have that underlying fear of a missing friend realized, I’ve had no reason to cry. It’s not that I have not mourned or thought or grown angry, I have. This is very strange to me, that I, who will cry at a touching Hallmark commercial, have not shed a single tear. The time will come. Perhaps tonight as I go to bed in my hotel room, or as my plane takes off and I look down and see the smoke still rising like the towers’ ghost.
Fourth Update: Wednesday, September 19, 2001 5:34 p.m.
I am stuck at work (we only have one car for the team of three) so I thought
I would write a few words. Not much new since I arrived in Houston. My flight
was fine, except for one point when a voice came over the intercom and spoke
in a language I could not identify. Everyone looked around wondering what
was going on. I feared that someone had taken over the intercom and was
commanding their people to begin some terrorist plan or something. Finally
when I realized the gate attendants did not seem concerned, I calmed down.
Today
I purchased tickets for about fifteen flights over the next six weeks. Not
only will I be traveling to Houston, but from there to other cities. Again,
I am not afraid- yet. I have been watching a lot of CNN still, in the mornings
and before dinner in my hotel room. Our conversations inevitably turn to
some aspect of the crisis whether it be cancelled flights, layoffs, or the
clean-up efforts. I am also overhearing people talk about how "No flights
are going anywhere near New York now" (um, then how did I get to Houston?)
and "I am never flying again!" (must suck to take the train).
One of the best things I "overheard" was a Dubya quote (no, not the wanted dead or alive one) in which he said that he is not starting a war but rather seeking justice. I think this is the best policy he could take, as long as he does it correctly. Rather than bomb randomly, he should target the people responsible for these acts. It does not help to kill more innocent civilians after we condemn the terrorists for the same act. We have to rise above their acts and seek justice, not blind revenge. Of course there are many followers whose attitudes will persist after their leaders perish, however no amount of bombs will eradicate these opinions. That;s all for now. I hope that at some point this weekend I will be able to take my negatives in somewhere and have them scanned.
Fifth Update: Tuesday 25 September 2001
Well,
it’s been two weeks. Things are continuing to get more normal. (I went shopping
for clothes, for example, rather than sitting and watching CNN.) My flight
back from Houston was again uneventful. We checked in using the electronic
ticket booths at the airport, never speaking to an agent until we reached
security. On the plane a sat next to a Hispanic woman, who crossed herself
before we took off. When we hit some turbulence she murmured "Dios mio"
(My god), clearly afraid. However I wasn’t sure whether her fear was from
lack of experience flying or the recent events.
Back in NYC, things are pretty ridiculous. I walk to work down Sixth Avenue,
also known as Avenue of the Americas. On this street there sits a row of
vendors, each hawking a patriotic ware, either flags, pins, posters, t-shirts,
etc. They have even pulled out the old Gulf War bumper stickers that say
"[yellow ribbon] ÎWe support our troops’ [American Flag]. Their shouts
as I walk by hit me, "Two dollah, two dollah! Flags just two dollah!" These
accents are clearly not ones that originated in the states. Yet their pride
(and recognition of the potential capitalistic gain) are 100% American.
Today when I walked to lunch I caught a whiff of that smoke, plastic-y and
acrid. It has become so natural to those who have remained in the city that
they don’t even notice any more.
Aside from that, we are all just waiting to hear what America’s response will be. War? What does that mean when you can’t pinpoint your enemy and the network is worldwide. My roommate Jody is looking into buying himself a gas mask to protect against chemical and biological attacks. I think that is a bit extreme, but you never know, I guess. My other roommate Bettina has been asked to return home to Greece or Australia by her family, so unfortunately she is moving out. I am back in NYC for the time being, and finally had a chance to scan in some pictures of the days following the attack.
Photos
The day after
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| Uniformed guards direct traffic | A man takes a moment to reflect and mourn in Washington Square Park | |
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| Families and friends look for loved ones | People waiting near the hospital, the smoke behind them | |
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| Doctors wait outside the hospital for more victims | People line up to donate blood. They were turning people away at this point, even if you have the universal blood type, like me. | |
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| People leaving town after the attacks | My roommate Jody watches CNN | |
Rescue workers
The media frenzy
The damage
Where the buildings once stood
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| From about 50 blocks north of the towers. This street is usually packed with cars. | As sun sets, the smokes takes on an eerie orange hue. | Rescue workers stay late into the night near One Liberty Plaza. |
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| More smoke and rescue efforts near One Liberty Plaza | At day's end, one more shot of the smoke and crowds. |
A few of the same in Black & White
